Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Harry Take Your Meds

Today someone said this to me [in gest of course] "Harry take your meds". I took no offense because the fact is, "I am a brain injury survivor." To this day, I am continually plagued with "residual" symptoms which all stem from a brain injury I sustained August 6, 1993. The medical community calls it Mild Traumatic Brain Injury (MTBI). Let me clarify that there is nothing, "mild" about brain injuries. Their chaos will disrupt your life in so many ways, it WILL be a miracle if you find your way out of the forest. And that challenge alone, is usually very difficult, because just one of the symptoms brain injured people deal with is, "YOU ARE LOST".

With everything I have been through, you would have thought the American Academy for the Certification of Brain Injury Specialists (AACBIS) would have desired my consulting expertise on their team. But, whereas I only possess a BA Liberal Arts, Dayton University, that hardly qualifies me to be anybody's doctor, eh?

Okay, reset your focus Harry. When I heard that comment today, I was immediately reminded of just how much hard work and shear determination on my part, that I chose to commit to my rehabilitation. There are no accidents, "Thank You Peggy". And although I am a God fearing man, and give our Lord most of the credit, the fact remains that I did most of the work. A few friends helped along the way, but that was much later after I was already on my feet and visiting them in public.

Okay, reset focus again. First, brain cells do grow back and so do nerves, but nerve take a long time to heal. Seemingly, forever. Secondly, the synapses also grow back and they also take a long time to heal. Healing from a brain injury seems like an impossible endeavor. And that attitude would be a healthy one because when you're in the driver's seat of this monster, there are no obvious clues to sort things out and get back to, "normal life" whatever that is.

Focus. Today I am self-educating myself about a slew of topics. From digital audio recording using 3 new pieces of pricey equipment utilizing over 350 buttons, rotary encoders and motorized faders to learning FLEX, XAML, and getting more serious with XHTML and Flash. Oh, and Adobe AIR has grabbed my attention. The point being, I still suffer with debilitating headaches and skull pressure, spinal pain, occipital nerve pinching and other variations of pain. I take no pain medication. I have already been through the pain management doors several times, and got myself off of those narcotics too. You can't live your life, "All doped up". Well... you can. But, you won't get much accomplished.


Speaking of accomplishment. Good topic! What I am about to say is something I spoke out loud just the other day. And I quote myself, "Even with the ongoing levels of pain that I deal with on an hourly, daily basis, I am nearly exceeding my productivity levels that I had achieved PRIOR to injury 1993". WOW! Now that's saying something! My progress is slow and steady, and spread across a large amount of time due to the gaps of time I lose from, "Time OFF of my feet". I lose days and weeks of time. Notice that I did NOT say, "I lose track of time". Although that would be an accurate statement as well. But, I make up for lost time when I am on my feet. Most people do not see or witness my dysfunctions, because they only know me online or see me, "When I am on my feet". Believe me, I truly understand when I say everybody's got something plaguing them. Pain is relative. And you gotta live your life.

But, I would like to rewind back to my original reason for blogging about this. And that is, in the beginning, I spent a hurrendous amount of time and energy rehabilitating myself to get to where I am today. Then I spent years developing my own personal technologies that I [currently] use to achieve goals. And let us never forget that, "Working with others" is key to anyone's progression through life. There is no magic pill that's going to take the brain damage away. You just have to be patient, eat healthy food, exercise and lead a healthy life style and give your body a chance to correct the damage. You can help your body a lot by adjusting your life style, eating healthy food and proteins to build up the brain cells that have died. Veggies and fruits will give you most of the vitamins you need to create the enzymes capable of building up your cells and they are also rich in anti-oxidants. And don't forget about WATER. Hydration is very important. Exercise helps with your blood circulation, providing your body cells with the proper Oxygen and nutrients which help to accelerate the healing process. But, do all of THAT with a morbid, screaming headache that lasts 40 to 100 hours. Good luck and when the pain drops to a dull roar, both the tranquilizers and any pain medication you're taking will leave you in a state of stupor! So you can kiss that week goodbye because you'll need 2 to 3 days to overcome the 100 hours you just spent practicing your fetal positions. Oh! I got sidetracked again. LOL. Sorry... but it's true.

ACHIEVING GOALS:
I am playing 12-string guitar again. I lost that ability for nearly 6 years. Now I have worked my way up to playing for about 10 minutes continuously before having to stop. Mind you, this is a far cry from my ex-usual 45 minutes of continuous nuclear playing power. And please! Don't give me the speech, "You're getting older..." Save it! I am an accomplished musician. What I'm talking about here are physical dysfunctions that can only be improved by means of commited, aggressive therapies and practice... And, "Time". Still, just physically playing guitar again is a majorly big deal for Harry. More to the point, just last week I spoke with an expert guitar repairman. I'm having him install precision-gear tuning pegs, reset the nut and replace the saddle with superior materials. Also, I'm going to try a different brand and guage of strings because it was brought to my attention that the kind I have been using are incorrect to achieve the playing style that I was attempting to achieve on this instrument.

My guitar playing goal is to have my [like new] Takamine 12-string reworked and to play my trio-set of "Only You", Arlo Guthrie's "Coming Into Los Angeles", and Richie Havens' "Freedom". And, be able to play them back-to-back without breaks or resting. See ya center stage.


In closing, it is wonderful for me to be experiencing idiomatic phrases such as, "Yes I can see the forest for the trees". Because... "I can."

Please excuse me for a moment, "It's time for me to take my meds."
;;grin;;